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Pilot Testing: Sitcoms Bad

Friday, August 31st, 2007

For every awesome comedy we get, there are almost too many stinkers to bear. This autumn’s sitcom offerings may be sparse, but they are particularly craptastic to compensate. If you’ll pardon my venom and lack of brevity, here’s a quick look at the worst of the worst…

Back to You (Fox; 9/19; 8:00PM). Where to start? Well, right here we have a combination of two of my least favorite things in the world: people who don’t know when to call it a day and Patricia Heaton. Though Kelsey Grammar’s insistence on playing the same character for thirty years in a row may be frustrating, it pales in comparison to the unfortunate perseverance of the one who loved Raymond most. Throwing them together in one of the more formula driven pilots of the new season might possibly be the work of the devil himself. Their chemistry is as forced as Grammar’s paternal curveball is annoying, and seeing them both portray characters aging ungracefully would be kind of funny if it weren’t so pathetic. The only people likely to find any humor in this one won’t even be able to watch because they’re too old to justify watching Fox. Next!

Big Bang Theory (CBS; 9/24; 8:30PM). I did mention that Back to You wasn’t the most formula driven newbie, right? Oh, good, because that honor is reserved for Big Bang Theory. It’s as if the folks behind the hackneyed, early-90s, TGIF-style sitcoms made a show about vestigial nerd stereotypes, included more sexual references than were appropriate at the time and saved it in a time capsule for a day when the humor might float. That day will never come. The story of two physics grad students who are taken under the wing of a hot, blonde neighbor, there are no surprises here – other than the audacity to include a laugh track in a show lacking any funny. Stars Johnny Galecki (Rosanne) and Jim Parsons do have an engaging buddy-comedy repartee, but the ghosts of Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau couldn’t save this writing. Stick through the first 15 minutes of the pilot and you’ll honestly be expecting them to break into “The Urkel“.

Cavemen (ABC; 10/2; 8:00PM). Cavemen may be the only one of these shows that I haven’t actually seen yet, but I’m going to go out on a short, sturdy limb and assume it’s as bad as we’re all imagining. The idea did intrigue me at first. Those charming Geico Neanderthals on telly, you say? Brilliant! Comedic allegory for American intolerance? Just what the doctor ordered! Maybe if someone like David Wain or Will Ferrell was behind it, but not this time. All of the clips are pretty cringe-worthy and few who’ve reported on the first episode have had much positive feedback. Sink slowly or sink fast, as long as it doesn’t stick around long enough to soil my fond memories of moving walkway frustration set to Röyksopp, I promise not to hold this buffoonery against anyone.

The Return of Jezebel James (FOX, Spring). Though not exactly a fall pilot, this one is enough of a knife in the heart to bring up a few months early. Amy Sherman-Palladino’s first post-Gilmore venture sounds like a great idea on paper: Lauren Ambrose, whip-smart writing and a glorious excuse to finally bring Parker Posey into American homes on a weekly basis. The Return of Jezebel James tells the story of single, infertile book editor (Posey) who seeks the help of her estranged sister (Ambrose) to carry a child for her. If that dreary premise isn’t enough to darken your mood, it’s also not funny, and the execution is unforgivably lame. All is not lost though! That lame pilot will probably never make it to the air, and all of that negative feedback gives Sherman-Palladino more than enough time to get her act together before Jezebel’s midseason premiere.

My advice, friends: Don’t count on any laughs from the new season’s comedic hopefuls. Enjoy your last night with Flight of the Conchords and Entourage on Sunday, get ready for NBC’s pitch-perfect Thursday night to return in October and, if you haven’t already, jump on board with How I Met Your Mother and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia next month. After all, one commonality of sitcoms, good or bad, is that it’s never too late to start watching.

Posted in ABC, Big Bang Theory, cbs, fox, pilots, the return of jezebel james | 4 Comments »

Science Fiction Explosion: Who Needs a Social Life, Really?

Friday, August 10th, 2007

Earlier this week, former Buffy scribe and all around awesome lady Jane Espenson wrote a piece for The New Republic on the odd phenomenon of science fiction failing on television while dominating cinema. She explains why she feels certain sci-fi connects with the masses when most representations of the genre can’t escape their niche, acknowledging that most people just like their metaphors easily digestible. Given the difficulty of getting a greenlight for sci-fi shows, it’s odd that we’re seeing such a large crop of them the last couple of weeks. For all you lucky shut-ins, here’s a guide to this weekend’s most geektastic offerings:

Flash Gordon (9pm, Friday, SciFi) – Flash is a 70-year-old comic book fixture that I know nothing about, but a little research tells me that he fits Espenson’s bill for the ideal Sci-Fi protagonist: a normal person suddenly thrust into extraordinary circumstances. Unfortunately for Flash, even his history and possibly accessible premise can’t earn this newest incarnation good reviews. I’ve yet to see it for myself, but those with whom I generally tend to side are not feeling this remake. Pre-judge not, lest ye be pre-judged, kids.

Jekyll (9pm, Saturday, BBC America ) – The US run of this short-lived BBC drama started airing last week on BBC America. A modern rendition of Jekyll and Hyde, it tells the story Tom Jackman (James Nesbitt) – a man who is the unknowing decedent of the real Dr Jekyll. Instead of dangerous experimentations with drugs or serums, Hyde is activated by a genetic marker that passed down the generations. The ways in which Tom interacts with his evil counterpart (through a digital recorder and shared assistant) make him almost Golem-esque. It’s rough seeing Nesbitt as a creep after playing the greatest dad ever in Millions, but the ease with which he seems to play the two characters probably couldn’t be rivaled by many. At only six episodes, tuning in for Jekyll isn’t much of a commitment, but it’s well worth it – if only to better acquaint yourself with new Bionic Woman Michelle Ryan.

Masters of Science Fiction (10pm, Saturday, ABC) – Like Showtime’s Masters of Horror before it, ABC’s new miniseries brings in some of the genre’s notable writers and directors for four Twilight Zone style installments intended to pretty much unnerve you. It hasn’t been as heavily promoted as last summer’s Nightmares and Dreamscapes on TNT, which is a shame, because it’s much more thoughtful. Last week’s premiere found Sam Waterston and Judy Davis playing psychologist and patient in a post-apocalyptic battle of wills. Waterston, who I’ve never given a second thought, did a stellar job evoking the criminal naiveté of our current Commander In Chief. Lost’s Terry O’Quinn stars in tomorrow’s episode, “The Awakening”, about a non-human casualty of the Iraq War. The biggest problem with MoSF is the utterly bizarre narration by super-brain Stephen Hawking. If anything busts up suspension of disbelief, it’s that robotic voice.

Finally, whether it be science fiction, spiritual or just crap with a vaguely supernatural twist, it should be noted that HBO’s first and (I can only imagine) final season of John From Cincinnati concludes on Sunday. Questions are promised to be answered, but I still don’t even know what to ask.

Posted in ABC, BBC, flash gordon, jekyll, masters of science fiction, sci fi | No Comments »

Fat March Proves Skinny People Don’t Have the Monopoly on Cruelty

Tuesday, August 7th, 2007

While Mark Philippoussis was busy making the biggest non-decision of his life on the season finale of NBC’s Age of Love, ABC premiered the latest version of weight loss reality competition, Fat March. August truly is the dumping ground for the summer’s worst films and series, so if you aren’t up to speed on this one, you’re probably not alone. The basic gist is that 12 extremely overweight contestants must walk from Boston to DC to lose weight and win prize money – as a team. It should also be noted that Fat March is based on Too Big To Walk, a British show with a ridiculously more awesome name and similarly shitty premise.

Watching shows like this, I always wonder what obese people (that’s 1/3 of the nation’s population and probably an even higher percentage of its television audience) think of them. As a non-obese American, I find them sad/inspiring/funny whenever the editors want me to feel such a way, but do the likes of The Biggest Loser and Celebrity Fit Club serve as motivation for those who are dangerously overweight or further fuel their anxiety? It’s a moral quandary someone might want to investigate, and they can start by interviewing the poor sap who got kicked off of Fat March.

Seriously. At the end of the first episode, the contestants were informed that they had a decision to make. They could vote someone off – the weakest link, if you will – or they could vote for no one and risk having to make up the miles of any player who subsequently drops out. Considering the prize money is significantly lowered if someone is voted off, and the bonds that they had already forged, you’d think they’d unanimously choose to stick together.

Therein lies the evening’s lesson: when threatened with the slightest possibility of extra physical activity, fat people will choose betrayal – even over money. It’s sad because the Fat March kids had me at the beginning of the hour. They were self-deprecating when others might have been whiny, and their enthusiasm even prompted me to set my alarm for an early morning run. But in the grand tradition of all reality show contestants, they’re just as effed up as their trimmer contemporaries.

Posted in ABC, fat march, reality | No Comments »

Pilot Testing: Dirty Sexy Money

Friday, August 3rd, 2007

It’s odd that primetime has been lacking a sudsy drama to lampoon America’s privileged class of tabloid fodder. TV has always been quick to deliver scripted incarnations of mainstream cultural happenings, yet the socialite/celebutante epidemic of the early 21^st century has remained oddly immune. I wouldn’t say that we’re overdue, because that would imply necessity; you just think that something like Dirty Sexy Money would have come along a couple years ago.

DSM is the story of Nick George (Peter Krause), a second-generation lawyer who takes up his father’s clients upon his death – the wildly wealthy and infamous Darling family. Having grown up in their shadow his whole life, his job is complicated by the unusual history he shares with each of the Darlings. Nick thinks that all he can accomplish with the hefty salary they pay him will make up for the frustrations and pitfalls of working for the morally bankrupt clan. Obviously, he is wrong, and this becomes even clearer when he learns of the suspicious circumstances around his father’s death.

One would imagine Krause to be the show’s strongest suit – this being the second ABC series in just as many years to throw an amazing Six Feet Under alum into a mediocre ensemble drama. But just like Brothers & Sisters before it, DSM is surprisingly fun to watch and for more reasons than just the actor many will tune in for.

The Darlings, for the most part, have been perfectly cast and written better than you’d expect. They supply the bulk of the show’s drama and all of its comic relief. Donald Sutherland is perfect as the sinister patriarch, Patrick “Tripp” Darling III, and Jill Clayburgh (who was born to play an aging moneyed WASP) is even better as his philandering wife. Juliet Darling, the obligatory Paris of the family, is played by Samaire Armstrong (The OC). She’s a much more sympathetic character than you’d expect, as her stupidity seems to come from a place of naiveté – not ignorance.

My personal favorite among the group is the Reverend Brian Darling (Glenn Fitzgerald), who hates Nick with such hysterical immaturity, it’s impossible not to laugh when the two share a scene. A crooked man of god (with an illegitimate child to boot!), Brian should be too much of a cliché to be remotely interesting, but Fitzgerald’s decision to approach the role as if he were Will Ferrell is an appreciated shot of camp in a show that could easily take itself too seriously.

If you’re at all curious as to what life would be like for a confidant to the Hilton family (and they were twice as large, wealthy and interesting), DSM will defiantly sate that hunger. Even if the mere thought of any time spent with folks like that brings chunks of partially digested food heaving up your esophagus, you still might be strangely interested. Like most of ABC’s highest rated shows, Dirty Sexy Money is not raising any bars for quality programming, but it is possibly this fall’s greatest guilty pleasure.

Posted in ABC, dirty sexy money, pilots | 1 Comment »

Pilot Testing: Pushing Daisies

Friday, July 27th, 2007

Every once in a while, the stars align just so – giving us a television show that isn’t just innovative and entertaining, but well-received and wholeheartedly endorsed by the network that’s airing it. There hasn’t been a new program since Lost to accomplish this coveted quadfecta, and the only pilot that seems to be garnering similar buzz and promotion this season is ABC’s Pushing Daisies.

The brainchild of Bryan Fuller (creator of Dead Like Me and Wonderfalls), Daisies is the story of Ned (Wonderfalls’ Lee Pace), a pie maker who can bring people back to life with one touch and send them back to oblivion forever with a second. When his power is discovered by a private investigator (Boston Public’s Chi McBride), he and Ned go into business together interviewing murder victims to solve their deaths and collect the reward money. Things are complicated when one of their first jobs is Ned’s childhood crush, Chuck (Anna Friel), who he cannot bare to let go of. Whimsy and childlike romance ensue.

His work on Dead Like Me and (most recently) Heroes pushed Bryan Fuller up to silver medal status for my favorite living television screenwriter, so I went into the pilot with lofty hopes and fanboy adoration in tow. The 42 minutes that followed failed to disappoint and actually exceeded what I can acknowledge as unfairly high expectations (I’m tempted to gush but I’ll refrain). Directed by executive producer Barry Sonnenfeld, the first episode plays out like a brightly colored amalgam of Jean-Pierre Jeunet and Tim Burton’s more lighthearted fare. And with Jim Dale’s over-excited narration, there’s even a nice Seussian element at work.

Pushing Daisies is billed as a “forensic fairytale,” but it is such a long way off from a procedural drama that the mere mention of the f-word seems deeply unfair. Aloof loners and star-crossed love are the order of the day, and while the unique non-TV visuals and snappy writing will elicit the most attention, it’s the stellar ensemble cast that brings it together. Swoosie Kurtz and Ellen Greene, in particular, steal every scene as agoraphobic former synchronized-swimming stars, The Darling Mermaid Darlings, and are the most obvious of Fuller’s frequent homages to Jeunet. As for the leads, Ned and Chuck are a little reminiscent of Johnny Depp and Mary Stuart Masterson in Benny & Joon; instead of mental illness keeping them apart, it’s their long history as introverts that sees a physical manifestation in Ned’s touch of death. Pace and Friel push the line between endearing and saccharine farther than it’s normally willing to go, but every time it appears they could go overboard, they seem to retreat into their heads.

Two months off from an actual premiere, I’m just as worried for Pushing Daisies as I am excited for it. America can only handle so much quirky, and Fuller has an unfortunate track record of creating amazing shows that meet untimely cancellations. But if enough people tune in to the pilot (which is very likely, given its lead-in to Private Practice), I’d be surprised if this show doesn’t immediately click with the majority of viewers.

For now… there is the handsome promo below and a well-timed “leak” of the pilot making the rounds online if you’re up for a sneak peak.

Posted in ABC, Bryan Fuller, pilots, pushing daisies | 2 Comments »

Lost: My Official Apology

Wednesday, June 27th, 2007

the truth about Charlie

I held off on Lost for longer than I ever thought I could: past the over-hyped first season, past its disappointing follow-up, and through the third’s supposed renaissance. There were many motives for my disinterest. The reason I offered up to most who questioned my resistance was my hatred for Matthew Fox – specifically his whining that ruined Party of Five, my favorite 7th grade extracurricular activity. In reality, I just get bitter when sci-fi shows achieve critical recognition and high ratings. It’s a genre where mass appeal isn’t generally sign of quality. (And Charlie’s cancer really did throw Party of Five so far over the shark.)

From the random, legitimately horrible, episodes I caught over the last few years, I found enough ammunition to defend my arbitrary hatred and justify my status as non-viewer to myself. But now that Veronica Mars is dunzo, and Battlestar Galactica is on borrowed time, my primetime lineup is rapidly becoming mystery deficient. The fear of waking up one day to a life without serialized drama prompted me to finally start watching Lost a couple of weeks ago, and, as of this moment, I am officially obsessed. It’s yet to rival the great Gilmore-athon of 2006, but it’s already taking way too much of my time from more conventional and social pursuits.

Falling in love isn’t as easy as it could have been if I’d started watching earlier in the game; Lost’s ability to saturate TV coverage over the past few years has left me filled to the brim with spoilers. One bit that I somehow avoided was that the plot involved a mysterious group of jungle-dwelling baby-stealers, and that’s reason enough to keep watching right there. Better yet, Matthew Fox and I are finally getting back to that special place we shared in 1994.

Despite my newfound affection, I must maintain that the show’s 2005 Emmy win for “Outstanding Drama” was one of the more ludicrous injustices in the ceremony’s rich history of buffoonery. Having caught almost all of the first season now, I don’t see any material that competes with Six Feet Under and Deadwood (not to mention the shows that didn’t even see a nomination). I am able to forgive Lost though. The Emmys are a juggernaut of crap, and the winners are really just as innocent as the painfully overlooked bystanders.

Posted in ABC, lost | 5 Comments »

You Probably Shouldn’t Watch Traveler

Wednesday, May 30th, 2007

Summer is not the time for serialized drama. Though the rerun filled off-season of yore maybe given way to this brave new world of continuously new programming, the evolution has not yet extended to the attention spans of viewers. Summer shows should be funny, stupid or, at the very least, easy to pick up. People need some sort of a break, and following convoluted arcs does not facilitate relaxation.

Earlier this month, ABC aired a preview screening of their Lost timeslot filler, Traveler, which now sees its official premiere tonight. Unfortunately for them, Traveler is not the type of show that is going to get you to set aside any of your precious summer hours. Traveler is the type of show that makes you want to pretend that your TV went into hibernation after last night’s finale of House.

If you were set a revamped version of the Fugitive in post-9/11 New York and you divided Dr. Richard Kimble in half, leaving two attractive twenty-somethings in his place, you’d more or less have Traveler. It’s just a shame that after all of that math, any sensical or entertaining storytelling seems lost.

Traveler could be a lot more compelling if they’d tried a little harder to establish the two leads in the pilot. Watching people run from false accusations is only compelling once you’ve taken an interest in the characters. Jay and Tyler, while mighty handsome, don’t make for the most endearing protagonists. Their cockiness almost makes you want to root against them, but all I’m feeling is apathy.

Posted in ABC, traveler | 5 Comments »

ABC Season Finales: Desperately Mediocre

Monday, May 21st, 2007

Keeping with the grand tradition they’ve built, ABC’s season finales were over-hyped and completely underwhelming. Some weren’t half bad (Desperate Housewives), while others were completely despicable (Ugly Betty). Regardless of the quality of send-offs, I’m just relieved to take a break from the network for a few months. It’s not that I don’t like them, but more than any other shows, I watch ABC’s Sunday and Thursday night line-ups out of obligation. Like a loving parent who’s a little too excited to send his children off to summer camp, I know I’ll be happy when they return this fall. But for now, I’m just looking forward to a little time to myself.

I don’t like saying “jump the shark.” In addition to the annoying genesis of the phrase and the ridiculous frequency at which it is thrown around, it has always seemed like a grossly uneducated judgment – especially when used in the immediate aftermath of a bad episode. Someone once said that you can’t really judge the success of a presidency until at least 20 years after the end of their term. And while that might not be the exact case with television, you really do need to see how things continue to play out before looking back in hindsight. That said, Ugly Betty might really have jumped the infant shark with the addition of Rebecca Romijn as Daniel’s post-op trannie brother/sister. Her character is far from the show’s biggest weakness, but her mid-season introduction was followed by a steady decline in quality. Last week’s finale was dismal, and if it weren’t for that charming Ferrera girl, I probably wouldn’t be coming back for more next year.

Somewhere in the middle of the crapometer were Grey’s Anatomy and Brothers & Sisters. Grey’s escapes the bottom of the barrel if only for the fact that they’ve already set the precedent for truly horrible television. Calling any one episode of the show “awful” would be a statement too bold for most scenarios and, indeed, this one. After putting her core cast through the much expected, self-inquisitory ringer, Shondra Rhimes leaves us in an enticingly grey (hey-o!) area over the return of accused homophobe, and all around douche bag, Isaiah Washington. On Brothers & Sisters, Sally Field and Calista Flockhart once again proved how invested they are in their craft by crying on camera without makeup. Justin went off to Iraq, Ron Rifkin might be gay with Summer’s dad from The OC and Tommy’s wife looks to be suffering from a rough case of postpartum depression. But none of that was too heavy to keep the Walkers’ from ending the season by jumping into the pool together – taking back the sad site of their patriarch’s demise on the series premiere.

Oddly enough, the most satisfying story development unraveled on Desperate Housewives. Three of the leading ladies are facing serious conflict in the upcoming fourth season, one seems to have finally found the happiness she’s been fighting for since the pilot and one is probably dead. In case you haven’t already heard, last night ended with Nicolette Sheridan swinging from a hand-crafted noose. Edie’s always been the most unnecessary housewife, and series creator Marc Cherry has frequently hinted at her demise, but I still won’t buy her death until she’s good and buried. Her death would be a welcome change on the show, and I could easily see her replacing the long irrelevant Mary Alice Young as the soap’s not-of-the-living narrator. Only time will tell, but I won’t be wasting any of it mulling over the possibilities. That part of my brain is officially turned off until September.

Posted in ABC, Brothers & Sisters, desperate housewives, grey's anatomy, ugly betty | No Comments »

Upfronts 2007: ABC (Who Really Cares?)

Tuesday, May 15th, 2007

Considering the massive list of pilots being picked up by ABC (11!), it’s hard to believe much of their current lineup is surviving. And while that’s partly true (see ya later, George Lopez!), it seems that almost half of the new shows aren’t going to show up until after the fall. Among ABC’s most buzzed pick-ups are Private Practice, the Grey’s Anatomy spin-off we already knew about, and the sitcom incarnation of the Geico Cavemen. Cavemen will chronicle the trials and tribulations of cavemen living in modern Atlanta. It has a 90% chance of it sucking beyond belief and a 10% chance of rocking my world.

Notable passes? Football Wives, we hardly knew yee! The American version of the British soap could have made a go of it – had it not been pitched as Desperate Housewives with sports or if they had cast someone other than James Van Der Beek as the male lead. Haven’t we learned from past indiscretions that Dawson doesn’t make for a convincing QB?

ABC’s full schedule for 2007/2008 is as follows…

Monday
8-9:30 pm: Dancing with the Stars
9:30-10 pm: Sam I Am
10-11 pm: The Bachelor

Tuesday
8-8:30 pm: Cavemen
8:30-9 pm: Carpoolers
9-10 pm: Dancing with the Stars Results Show
10-11 pm: Boston Legal

Wednesday
8-9 pm: Pushing Daisies
9-10 pm: Private Practice
10-11 pm: Dirty Sexy Money

Thursday
8-9 pm: Ugly Betty
9-10 pm: Grey’s Anatomy
10-11 pm: Big Shots

Friday
8-9 pm: Men in Trees
9-10 pm: Women’s Murder Club
10-11 pm: 20/20

Saturday
8-11 pm: Saturday Night College Football

Sunday
7-8 pm: America’s Funniest Home Videos
8-9 pm: Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
9-10 pm: Desperate Housewives
10-11 pm: Brothers & Sisters

Posted in ABC, upfronts | No Comments »

McSpinoff!

Friday, May 4th, 2007

Though it pains me to say it… the spin-offy portion of last night’s two-hour Grey’s Anatomy wasn’t just more interesting than the actual show, it may have actually been kind of good.

When I think of spin-offs, I think of Angel, Rhoda, Law & Order: Acronym or CSI: American City – shows either based on really strong characters from the mother-program or completely different shows that just adopt a similar premise. With as-yet-unnamed spin-off (possibly titled Private Practice), Grey’s is going a completely different route by introducing one of their least compelling characters into a slightly similar situation.

Kate Walsh does not seem the ideal candidate for her own spin-off, but after last night, I’m convinced she was the best choice for Grey’s. She’s not really interesting, but she’s also not really annoying. In other words, she’s the perfect character to ease into another ensemble cast. She’s been branded by Grey’s, so she brings in a very large core audience, but she doesn’t have enough personality to completely define the new show.

Aside from the obviously uninspired premise of “not-so-spring-chicken seeks change of scenery to find her place in life,” obnoxious dialogue may be the show’s biggest drawback. In one scene where Addison is on the verge of an emotional breakdown, potential romantic lead Tim Daly is there to offer her some comfort, by uttering the least appealing come-on in history: “I’m going to kiss you with tongue.” Oh yes, please, that sounds really hot. I’d like to think that someone would have the presence of mind to 86 something so vulgar, but what would a Grey’s Anatomy spin-off be without unsophisticated sexual exposition?

The smartest thing about this pilot was definitely the execution. If you want to guarantee the viewership an existing audience, cut the first episode up into 10 pieces and scatter them into a really long episode of a show they’re going to watch anyways. For anyone who’s a fan of Grey’s Anatomy, watching the pilot was unavoidable. And given how tedious the show has gotten over the last year, Addison’s trip to LA was a welcome respite from the repetitious drama at Seattle Grace.

Posted in ABC, grey's anatomy | 3 Comments »

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