It’s time to trim the fat, folks. And some of this season’s more enticing fare has turned out to be deceptively unhealthy. Not terrible, per se, but certainly not worth the calories – like a McGriddle! Food metaphors aside, I really just don’t have the time or energy for my ambitious schedule. Sacrifices need to be made. Here’s a quick rundown of the shows on my chopping block and the ones whose heads have already rolled…

DONE!

Private Practice: I barely made it through the first episode. Its moderate success is a testament to the generally low standards of the new season and the decline of American culture. I’m sure Kate Walsh is a nice lady, and we all love any excuse to watch Tim Daly, but this show makes Grey’s look sophisticated. It also suffers from lame, repetitive episode titles (“In Which…” really?) – a trait shared by another demonic and ultimately doomed spin-off.

Bionic Woman: The inevitable mid-season episode where Katee Sackhoff brutally kills Jamie Sommers’ pointless, homophobic sensei, Isaiah Washington, is almost enough to make me keep watching. But… it’s not. This one is hard, because any source of Sackhoff while Battlestar is on one of its evil hiatuses should be a welcome treat, but even she can’t save this sinking ship. I may give it one final obligatory viewing tonight – tedious as that will probably be. (sidenote: Isaiah Washington’s default IMDB photo makes me want to die)

Aliens in America: This one is funny and sweet, but let’s be honest, Girlfriends probably has its moments too. I like my TV with an edge, and Aliens is clearly of the rounded variety.

STEP UP!

Chuck and Reaper: I kind of feel like a bipolar mama bird. I was so excited to see these two hatch, but their first steps have left me skeptical and contemplating a quick boot from the DVR nest. They’re hard not to group together because their premises aren’t all that dissimilar. Unfortunately, neither are their failings. Chuck needs to get past its heavy reliance on the charming cast (and failure to make light of the ridiculous plot) and come up with some more exciting storylines. As for Reaper, there’s so much room for social commentary, it’s kind of a sin that they’re not even trying to explore it. Melancholic twentysomethings are my favorites, and supernatural obligations as a metaphor for life’s self-induced setbacks come in at a close second. These two should be golden!

Chuck (8PM; NBC) – As I mentioned in the summer, Chuck is one of the best pilots out there. It’s worth watching for goofy sweetheart Zachary Levi alone, but there’s potential for a whole tally of reasons. Bloggers agree; Chuck is one to watch.

Heroes (9PM; NBC)– TV’s most awesome show or a whole lot of hype? Somewhere in between, I’d say. As much as I love the show, the first season ended on a seriously questionable note. And after almost an entire summer’s worth of promotions, a pseudo spin-off on its way and a slightly unnecessary Emmy nom, Heroes is almost begging for a sophomore slump. All things considered though, it’s still one of the most entertaining things out there. I’ll be tuning in with an open mind and the highest of hopes.

Journeyman (10PM; NBC) – If there’s a fly in this ointment, it’s most definitely Journeyman. The time-traveling drama is almost as unfocused as it is uninteresting. It’s not overtly bad by any stretch of the imagination, and all of the actors certainly pull their weight, its just not compelling TV. Your evening’s NBC-ing should really end after Heroes.

Chuck is basically every geek’s wet dream. A dopey tech guy is thrown into a world that’s half James Bond and half Kevin Smith. His secret life of adventure and danger gives him newfound confidence and the attention of an unattainably hot woman. The premise isn’t exactly breaking new ground, but the well-executed offering from the bros who brought us The OC is one of the strongest contenders for the upcoming season.

The NBC pilot, written by Josh Schwartz and directed by McG, introduces us to the title character: a socially inept computer geek with a dead-end job and a group of charming friends. On the night of his 20-somethingth birthday he receives an email from his college roommate (now a rogue CIA agent) which contains all of the government’s secrets encrypted on images. Watching the photos flash across his monitor, Chuck goes catatonic and wakes up the next morning with all of the information stored unwittingly in his head. He must now work with two (possibly evil) government agents to keep America safe for freedom and bla, bla, bla…

Reluctant heroes are nothing new, and the notion of “downloading information into your brain” is a comically tough pill to swallow. Yet Chuck seems to work really well. Why? Because the guy playing him (Zachary Levi) is simultaneously hilarious, endearing and utterly brilliant every moment he’s on the screen. If Schwartz knows anything, it’s writing and casting underdogs. Levi is as perfect for Chuck as Adam Brody was for Seth Cohen.

The star of Chuck’s inner-circle is his best friend Morgan (Joshua Gomez), an ideal sidekick who seems poised to provide the bulk of the show’s physical comedy. In one of the funnier scenes in the first episode, Chuck and Morgan return home to find a masked stranger trying to steal Chuck’s computer. After Morgan throws a few household objects that are deflected and repeatedly hit his friend, they are both knocked out and come to in a comprising position – one they were kind enough to recreate at Comic-Con this weekend. Chuck also has a doting sister, Ellie (the ever-wonderful Sarah Lancaster – blessedly spared from another annoying season of What About Brian?), who is on a never-ending mission to get her brother out of his shell. There’s also Ellie’s boyfriend, who, despite substantial screen time, is known only by the sarcastic moniker of “Captain Awesome.”

Chuck is funny, fast-paced and oddly compelling for a show that is seldom serious.  NBC’s other newbies pale in comparison, but it won’t really matter if Chuck does for the network what Heroes did last year.  The ugliest obstacle Chuck is likely to face might be Schwartz’s dreadful creative slumps that plagued The OC. Teen soaps certainly have more trappings of banality; the temptation for simple, hackneyed storylines on The OC must have been overwhelming, but most of the time there was really no excuse. If he’s as hands-on with Chuck as he was with Ryan, Seth and company… it will be an interesting test of stamina.