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Emmys 2007: “A Wide Selection of Trash”

Monday, September 17th, 2007

The Emmys are something of a necessary evil. If you have any taste at all, you’re disappointed year after year by the criminal snubs, but if you like TV half as much as I do, you’re forced to pay attention anyways. This year wasn’t as bad as it could have been; Battlestar Galactica, Neil Patrick Harris and Minnie Driver all earned much-deserved nominations… not that they won. As for the ceremony itself, holding it “in the round” (just like JT!) proves that they’re at least aware of the their waning legitimacy. Ryan Seacrest was as non-present as a host could be. And his greatest success? A smart, if slightly dated, joke about his short relationship with Teri Hatcher – his last earnest attempt at feigning heterosexuality.

Since live-blogging would have required my watching the show in its painful entirety (and the onslaught of FOX plugs), I hope you’ll settle for my slightly delayed reactions to the big winners…

Supporting Actor in a Comedy – Jeremy Piven – Is it fair to award the same actor two years in a row for playing the same stagnant, stereotypical character that isn’t remotely different from who he is in real life? Apparently so. Piven, you may have Emmy, but you’ll never be half the bro Neil Patrick Harris is.

Supporting Actor in a Drama – Terry O’Quinn – As big of a Heroes fan as I might be… their Drama nod seems a little undeserved. Not so for Masi Oka though. He should have had this. Terry O’Quinn is all well and good in Lost, but if you’re going to award the supporting cast of the island, you could at least have given it to Ben Linus. Nice speech, though, Terry. Can’t say the same for the shirt…

Supporting Actress in a Comedy – Jamie Pressly – In all honesty, I’ve never watched more than five minutes of My Name is Earl, but I’m having a seriously hard time believing that a glorified extra from Not Another Teen Movie is more deserving of this award than Jenna Fischer or Vanessa Williams.

Supporting Actress in a Drama – Katherine Heigl – The reach of America’s love of Denny Duckett goes on long after he’s in the ground! “Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama” is now officially the “Lengthiest and Most Annoying Mourning Period” award. Not that I don’t adore you, Izzie.

Lead Actor in a Comedy – Ricky Gervais – I love Gervais. I love him for his work on Extras, and I love him for not being there to speak.

Lead Actress in a Drama – Sally Field – Have people seen Brothers & Sisters? I watch it religiously, but it’s all kinds of sucky. Unless this Emmy is for the episode when Sally got stoned with Margot Kidder, I don’t buy it. Also… nice editing, Emmy guys! A full hour after Tell Me You Loved Me showed real-life vagina and prosthetic wieners, FOX still can’t let America hear a middle-aged woman say “god-damned.”

Lead Actress in a Comedy – America Ferrera – Wow, the first award of the night I actually called. And one of the few I don’t object to.

Lead Actor in a Drama – James Spader – Can I say “wow” again? Boston Legal is not something I’ve ever watched, or ever intend to, but it can’t be all that bad. Somewhere in Los Angeles, Gandolfini is watching Mannequin and getting trashed.

Outstanding Comedy – 30 Rock – I hate to throw it out there so soon, but 30 Rock is flirting with Arrested Development-type prophetic doom.

Outstanding Drama – The Sopranos – Despite the acting snubs, the Emmys’ love for The Sopranos could not have been more obvious. That Jersey Boys homage? They might as well have just paid someone to felate a bunch of HBO execs live on stage for three minutes. Whatever, it’s not like they don’t deserve it.

… Oh, and Tony Bennett won everything else.

Posted in 30 Rock, Brothers & Sisters, emmys, entourage, fox, grey's anatomy, hbo, heroes, lost, news, the sopranos, ugly betty | 1 Comment »

Justin Timberlake’s FutureSex/LoveShow

Tuesday, September 4th, 2007

Who better to sing out the summer than Justin Timberlake? Well, Don Henley for one, but no matter. In a supernova of white clothing that officially became uncouth as of 00:00 hours, JT closed community pools and reopened public schools with his breathy crooning in a 2 1/2 hour extravaganza on HBO. He danced, he swaggered, he played the flippin’ keytar, but for the casual JT fan (as most of us are), was it any good?

Of course it was. Though it could have stood some generous editing (I started dozin’ around 105 minutes in), Timberlake is a showman if anything. He sang almost his entire solo catalog and even offered something from the halcyon days of N*sync. Amidst remixes, reworkings and annoying displays of musical aptitude – we get it, you’re an artist – there were even a few private moments with the man himself. Karen Duffy continued her welcome, though bizarre, renaissance by covering yet another televised concert and dishing out the Qs in the Q&A that bookended the show and filled the intermission. (I don’t think anyone was under the impression that this was a “live” broadcast, but they have to do their best to maintain suspension of disbelief.)

Timbaland’s cameo was definitely the highpoint. It’s always nice to see the man kind of behind the curtain come out to a raucous reception, and watching the two of them dance together is almost too charming to bear. Things really slowed down towards the end though and almost stopped completely with an encore that was all kinds of superfluous. Strolling out all by his lonesome, in just a t-shirt and khakis, Timberlake played what piano, sing a sad song and offered an affected thank you to the audience. It left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth after such a nice evening and would probably have been better suited to Lilith Fair… My only real complaint I suppose; that and the fact that I still have no clue what FutureSex/ LoveSounds are.

Posted in futuresex/loveshow, hbo | No Comments »

Big Love Finale: A Pre-Insemination Party!

Monday, August 27th, 2007

There are a few enchanting shows on television that are so good, their season finales actually elicit physical pain – the thought of months of and months without new episodes is just that devastating. Big Love is one such show.

There’s so much going on right now it’s kind of a slap in the face to make just 12 episodes at a time. Last night’s season-ender gave us next to no resolution for any of the subplots, and what closure we did get… was not exactly what I had hoped for. Sarah chose to assert her independence by screwing her future-pedophile boyfriend when she should have just moved in with Heather’s family. And instead of finally giving Bill the kiss-off she’s been considering all season, Barb took a big ol’ gulp of the polygamous Kool-Aid and fully embraced her life as one of several wives – as long as she can be the one with all of the power.

Bill is getting slimier by the minute, and last night’s unexpected return of potential fourth-wife Ana was not without some pantry-side canoodling. I like Ana and all, but the addition of another Lady Henrickson would drive me all kinds of nuts. Margene’s naive insistence on her inclusion won’t likely be placated by Barb’s grand gesture.

My love/hate relationship with Nikki dissolved this season when her antics went from whimsical to inexcusable. Her father, however, stopped creeping me out long enough to became one of my favorites. Roman returned from his coma slightly loony and definitely a lesser evil to his son Alby. Alby is good for drama, but he owes all of his success to what an idiot his sister is.

That brings me to my biggest gripe: the power struggle at the compound is never nearly as exciting as the conflicts that play out in the Henrickson’s communal backyard. Part of me hopes that the writers will find some way to include the Juniper Creek folks without spending too much time on political issues that follow them, and if they’re interested, I have ten months to think about how they might do it.

Posted in Big Love, hbo | No Comments »

HBO’s As You Like It: Where’s the Branagh?

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007

I realize that a highly skilled director and screenwriter such as Kenneth Branagh needn’t appear in all of his Shakespearean adaptations, but is it so much to ask that he do it anyway? His most recent jaunt, BBC and HBO’s joint production of As You Like It, is as lovable and charming as we’ve come to expect of Branagh, but it did lack a certain bravado without the master of ceremonies taking on one of the leads himself.

Following in the footsteps of 2000’s Love’s Labour’s Lost, Branagh chose to completely mess with the time period and location for As You Like It with ambiguous Westerners living in 1800’s Japan. The opening scene finds the players in a luxurious home deep in a Japanese forest, when they are attacked a band of sword-hurling ninjas. This is a particularly considerate move; had Shakespeare actually been aware of ninjas, he most certainly would have included them himself. Hopes are officially high, but once all but one of the cast are banished to the woods, we find that the movie is basically ninjaless and was probably filmed in Branagh’s British backyard.

With the lush backdrop proving to be just a tease, the success of the following two hours was entirely dependant on the cast, and there are a remarkable number of ways one can royally eff up Shakespeare. Thankfully, such eff-uppery was kept to minimum. Kevin Kline, who took an odd turn from being the selling point of every project he’s involved with, seemed the most aloof. If there were a role that begged to be swapped for Branagh, it was Kline’s stagy Jaques. Romola Garai (of Dirty Dancing 2 fame) was the most exciting. As the play wore on, her rustic surroundings took her from glamorous Victorian nobility to barely lucid, semi-feral hobo. And we all know how much hobos bring to the table.

After the obligatory multiple-wedding had tied four couples’ respective knots and frolicking had ensued, the credits were interrupted by the uncharacteristic epilogue. Bryce Dallas Howard, who was delightful as the star, stares directly into the camera during her brief soliloquy as the one-shot takes her off the set, past the craft services table and through a small maze of trailers. Just when we think we might be lucky enough to catch a glimpse of Kenneth, practically the modern embodiment of the bard himself, Howard closes the door on her dressing room with a wink and a nod. Such a tease – but at least an enjoyable one.

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John From Cincinnati: Beached, Bloated and Bird Food

Tuesday, August 14th, 2007

Those vacant looks say it all. In the 10 mind-boggling weeks since The Sopranos left us hanging, John From Cincinnati did what it could to rebuild Sunday nights. And though it will surely go down as one of the more inventive attempts at serialized storytelling, there won’t be much to reference. Last night HBO confirmed what we already knew: JFC will not be getting a second season.

What few fans remain will now have to stalk creator David Milch if they want to know what the hell it all meant – assuming he even knows himself. He did offer a few tidbits on Sunday’s series finale (as did episode writer Zach ‘Joss’s bro’ Whedon) to Variety‘s Cynthia Littleton. You can read them here and here. Personally, I feel like I’ve been let off the hook. I watched John for watching’s sake, but my attention waned as soon as the opening credits ended – which, if you never caught them, were pretty effing awesome.

Posted in hbo, john from cincinnati, r.i.p. | No Comments »

Big Ups to Big Love

Tuesday, July 24th, 2007

Despite a few of us still holding onto the hope that John From Cincinnati will rise to the occasion before its first (and likely only) season comes to an end, it’s quite clear that it will never be the heir to HBO’s now vacant Sunday Night throne. Flight of the Conchords ensures that the evening remains destination watching, but it can’t very well replace The Sopranos. The pay network is without a flagship for the first time in over a decade, and everyone keeps talking about which of their upcoming programs might fill the fabled cement shoes. Yet no one talks of Big Love.

Amidst annoyingly scrutinized finales, over-hyped launches and shows that have fallen into unacknowledged creative crap-holes, Big Love silently plugs along as the real star of HBO – its modesty almost in tune with that of the devout family in portrays. Critics are divided, audiences are turned off by the premise and Tuesday morning water coolers are dominated by fools rehashing Hell’s Kitchen and Two and a Half Men reruns. It hardly seems fair. Luckily, yesterday’s refreshing confirmation of a third season and an upcoming move back to Sundays might mean that HBO is ready to move their eggs into Big Love’s most deserving basket – and with good reason.

The caliber of the acting and writing improves almost every week, their successful juxtaposition of humor and anxiety is almost unparalleled and with the appearance of the Mormon mob (or Mor-mob, if you will), Big Love seems to be getting more Sopranos-y by the minute. The sinister waif of a man, Roman Grant, is no longer the only creep claiming to be the one true prophet. Dueling sects of polygamist Mormons are about to get dirty, and our dear protagonists (whose lifestyle seems strangely acceptable now) are caught in the middle. For a nice dose of absurd humor, they’ve even added sex scenes choreographed to Avril Lavigne and a transgendered Mormon henchman who likes to brand those who her cross her like cattle.

In a promo more fitting for Desperate Housewives, next week promises Big Love’s “most dramatic episode ever” that “everyone will be talking about.” I don’t doubt that former is true, but they’ll have to win a few more people over before they achieve the latter.

Posted in Big Love, hbo | No Comments »

Flight of the Conchords‘ Kristen Schaal

Friday, July 20th, 2007

Photo: bradleymeinz.com

In the past, I have mocked television shows (er.. network marketing folks) for their futile insistence to incorporate online and viral elements into their television show. Most recently HBO’s Voyeur seemed like a novel idea, but then the actual manifestation was too fuzzy to see, and they started peddling unwarranted t-shirts at their flagship on Sixth Avenue. Stupid internet tricks will almost never widen a show’s audience; they merely make PR folks feel a sense of Oregon Trail-esque accomplishment. Finishing a viral marketing push, without catching cholera or loosing all your oxen, is as much of an accomplishment as you can hope for.

But if there were ever an exception to the rule, it would come from Flight of the Conchords. You’re now well aware of Mel, the Conchords’ biggest fan, if you’re smart enough to keep paying attention between the musical interludes. Mel is one of those strange urban creatures: overly earnest, sweater-set clad girls who haven’t escaped the roles they were given in high school; too awkward to seem natural in the city, but too dependent on forced interaction to live somewhere less populated.

Since there’s no way to let her shine too bright on the short program, Mel has a video blog on the show’s official site. Filled with analysis of her favorite duo, dispatches from stalking gone awry and more than a few moments of wide-eyed schizophrenia, Mel’s vlog is brilliant because its content is clearly the brainchild of its star, Kristen Schaal. The short clips will likely leave you wanting more of the comedian, so you might want to head over to MySpace to fully OD. And be sure to check out her short-lived/brilliant series, Penelope: Princess of Pets…

Posted in flight of the conchords, hbo, online | 1 Comment »

Voyeur: HBO Makes New York Look More Exciting Than It Really Is. Again.

Thursday, July 5th, 2007

I was not fortunate enough to catch the building-side broadcast of HBO Voyeur, which is a shame, because it seems the only appropriate venue for the undertaking. The much ballyhooed project is basically an ambiguous commercial for the network – a four-minute looped reel of the sensational/mundane events that transpire one night in the stairwell and eight apartments of a lower Manhattan building. It serves as a reminder to us all that that drama can happen anywhere, but it’s an effing guarantee on HBO.

Voyeur is an exciting idea. Aside from the fly-on-wall kicks of seeing people fight and make out, there’s also real estate scoping, a favorite pastime of city-dwellers everywhere. Seeing it broadcast on vacant walls or billboards would be an experience, but watching the same events compartmentalized on HBO On Demand or in poor resolution on the website is just boring.

It’s also BS. Most of this stuff would never happen, and the suggestion that it’s all happening at the same moment, in the same building, is funnier than it is intriguing. HBO’s big ploy is to appeal to our lust for real, accessible drama, but what they’ve given us is comically overdone. I have a friend whose old neighbor did nude calisthenics while he waited for his popcorn to microwave. He could have had his own show.

Posted in commercials, hbo, voyeur | 1 Comment »

John From Cincinnati – “Now We’re Boning”

Tuesday, June 26th, 2007

Everyone really needs to chill the hell out over John From Cincinnati. Stories are told in different ways, and just because this one is taking a more original approach doesn’t mean it should be shunned like it has been by most of the media.

As for the source of all the shunning, the vague arc of John is actually starting to take shape. The supernatural undertones are becoming overtones (or is it just tones?), with “resurrection by parrot” and “spontaneous near-combustion” joining levitation on the roster of weird and unexplained. Thanks to the less than creatively titled episodes, we also know it’s only been two days in Imperial Beach since John arrived – leading one to conclude that the ten episode season is going to play out over the period of just one week. Unfortunately, most America viewers thrive on the pace of 24, and a week is probably too long to hold their interest. For that reason alone, I’m inclined to worry that John From Cincinnati will follow in the footsteps of Carnivale: awesome, underrated and ultimately unwatched.

HBO is not failing to live up to its long tradition of TV’s strongest character studies. And while I’m fully onboard with the Yosts, their friends and the antagonistic duo of Luke Perry and Emily Rose, those three dudes at the motel aren’t going to find a fan in me anytime soon. In a cast that seems to be growing every week, the less time devoted to peripheral folks, the better. Also… mysterious hotel rooms are seriously played out.

What remain to be inarguably amazing about John From Cincinnati are the opening credits. There might be no more sublime way to cap off a weekend than with shots of longboard surfers of yore set to a simultaneously tranquil and rowdy Joe Strummer. It’s becoming my favorite minute and a half of the TV week, and the 58.5 that follow are pretty damn good too if you’re willing to check your unfairly high expectations at the door.

Posted in hbo, john from cincinnati | No Comments »

Flight of the Conchords… Actually on TV Now

Monday, June 18th, 2007

I may have been the only person who hadn’t already seen Flight of the Conchords by the time it premiered on HBO last night. For the past month, the first episode has been available at HBO.com and, by some unknown means of coercion, absolutely everyone seemed to have written about it. I did not.

Bret and Jemaine had a pretty rough handicap with me. I’m not generally a fan of comedians who pepper their shtick with music, and a solid 30 minutes of New Zealander accents isn’t a very enticing pitch either, but Conchords was actually pretty funny. It follows the journey of transplanted buddies in New York’s East Village. Like New York comedies of past, neither seem to have a job or any other source of income – at least their apartment is appropriately modest. For support, they have an overzealous and creepy fan and a dippy manager who echoes a little too strongly of Extras’ Darren.

When their intentionally expressionless faces and monotone voices become almost too much, they burst into song. They sing about falling in love, the heartache of rejection… and robots. It seems like we should have heard these songs before, but the dry absurdity is distinctly their own. Jermaine’s falsetto is a much more welcome vehicle for musical comedy than your Jimmy Fallons and your Adam Sandlers.

Though the Conchords may be better suited to the short MTV promos of the 90s or a recurring Saturday Night Live skit, they don’t overstay their welcome like they easily could. The show drags a little in between the surrealist musical interludes but not enough to fully turn away. And with Entourage apparently still very much steeped in all things Medellín, Flight of the Conchords is a comedy on HBO actually worth watching.

Posted in flight of the conchords, hbo | 1 Comment »

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