I’m not sure what’s worse: pretentious & weird or over-sexed & weird. But I’m tempted to go with the latter in the instance of our newest batch of summer cable series. John From Cincinnati may have a largely retarded cast and a plot that’s going nowhere fast, but Meadowlands has unattractive people masturbating and a premise that is either completely ludicrous or a drearier knockoff of Lost.

For some unknown reason, the Brogan family has been placed in a witness protection program. The first scene finds them blindfolded and mysteriously dropped off in the town the series is named after. By the end of the hour, we learn that absolutely every member of the community is in hiding as well – their every moment being monitored by a large staff from a secret security hub. It doesn’t seem as though they all know it though, as the sinister, mustachioed cop and Mr. Brogan are the only we know to be aware for sure.

Quite bipolar, the townspeople are fine executing their own brand of vigilantly justice one minute and breaking into synchronized dances the next. Among the most prominently featured are a pseudo-rapist plumber, an emotionally unstable neighbor and her obese, prima donna daughter – the town’s pride and joy. The Brogans themselves aren’t very normal either, with the son a slik-glove-clad, voyeuristic, mute burn victim and the daughter shaping up to be quite a daft little slut. As for Brogan and wife, whatever caused them to move seems fairly likely to be his fault, and it’s driven quite a rift between them.

The pilot plays out like a story from The Twilight Zone or a darker episode of Dr. Who, but it’s filmed and paced like a British soap opera (think Hollyoaks on acid). It’s not as suspenseful as the premise should afford, but there is a lot of potential. With every episode likely to explore the different reasons people found their way to Meadowlands, how the Brogans themselves came to seek hiding, and the ambiguous origins of the town itself, the show should really be able to pick up the pace.

Meadowlands premieres this Sunday at 10pm on Showtime.