Within the first five minutes of Vh1′s ¡Viva Hollywood! I realized that I know nothing about Hispanic American popular culture. Almost just as soon it became clear that my life is seriously suffering for that fact. The show is the newest in a crop of reality competitions debuting on the cable network this month, and it follows 12 aspiring latino actors vying for their big break in telenovelas. I avoid “celebreality” like the plague, but there’s something strangely authentic about a bunch of catty amateurs duking it out for an opportunity to join an industry not known for its great talents. Also, the floating head of some famous transvestite psychic pops up occasionally to explain the shows many challenges.
For one hot minute of my adolescence, I was in love with telenovelas. I found the idea of sensationalized smut in a foreign language to be a worldly and wildly entertaining cultural outlet. But you can only watch so many seemingly arbitrary face slaps before just getting frustrated with your own ignorance. Had I been exposed to Dora The Explorer as a child, maybe my obsession would have stuck, but I am a product of the 80s. It’s a wonder I can ever speak English.
Now, however many years later, that obsession could very well be revived. Every element of ¡Viva Hollywood!, from the challenges, to the scantily clad cougar judge, to the ridiculous things people accidentally say when they’re speaking a second language is so fall on the floor funny, I can barely stand it. Even the eliminations are groundbreaking in their ludicrousness (you know, by reality standards). The contestants have to go into a confessional booth and basically curse the one they want to face elimination – but not without begging god’s forgiveness before they go. Then, after the bottom two perform some impromptu, tear-sodden soliloquy, the judges play a video of them acting in a fight scene. Whoever dies in the scene must go. “Esta muerto!”
I won’t pretend that there are any redeeming qualities to this show, or that any of you would be bettered by watching it, but it isn’t often that I am legitimately surprised by how entertaining something is. ¡Viva Hollywood! delivers. This extremely long trailer doesn’t even begin to do it justice, but you get the idea.
