It isn’t often that promos for new reality shows leave me salivating and feverishly scheduling them onto my DVR. My approach with reality has always been to let my friends and the general public test the waters before I jump on the bandwagon. But there’s something charming about the idea of Gay, Straight or Taken? Despite its simplicity and being so relatable, no similar incarnation has appeared on television yet. And apparently that’s enough to make me want to watch.
After the first episode, it’s clear that this show is attempting to provide the viewer with more than just a trashy way to pass half an hour. A dating show, it offers up the usual fare of forced sexuality and slimy personalities. But as a service show, it promises to teach confused straight girls (and even more confused gay men) how to better hone their gaydar and avoid the painfully awkward moments that seem likely to ensue at the end of each episode. Trial by error is much easier when it’s someone else’s error.
The only surprise with Gay, Straight or Taken? is that the female contestant (Jenner, the self-described “hilarious smarty-pants” from episode one) does seem completely unaware of the show’s premise. After meeting the men, she receives a phone call from the taken guy’s girlfriend and the gay guy’s boyfriend. As her shock fades, the show falls into the routine of forced mini-dates where the contestants practice their yoga and take 20-minute salsa classes. The monotony is somewhat broken by the woman’s constant over-analysis of the men as she tries to properly identify them. Her conclusions shift, as do ours, when a straight contestant shows off his producer-planted Speedo and the gay contestant stares deeply into Jenner’s eyes while massaging her temples. The result is unlikely to ever surprise. And all three men could so easily pass for homosexuals, you don’t really feel comfortable seeing her with any of them.
Though ultimately stale and unnecessary, Gay, Straight or Taken? does fill one void. For the millions of us who come home late at night, too drunk to watch anything remotely intelligent but not tired enough to avoid TV completely, it can be an entertaining distraction. And in this brave new post-Blind Date world, it is nice that Lifetime has offered us a significantly less trashy alternative that isn’t as painful as the legion of scripted dating shows on MTV.