Sophomore seasons are almost never what we expect them to be. For some slow-burners, they can bring a watershed of explosive creativity (à la Buffy), but for most buzzworthy shows, the second season almost always marks the sophomore slump (think Desperate Housewives), a source of criticism and disappointment among viewers. I’ve been hesitant to express my boredom and frustration with Heroes, but after five decidedly mediocre episodes, the situation can no longer be ignored. This season kind of sucks.

Most of the fun in the first season of Heroes was the slow crescendo towards our scattered characters discovering the extent of their abilities and each other. By the finale, almost all of their paths had crossed and many had formed relationships. We picked them up, four months later, scattered once again, and now we feel like we’re just retracing our steps to an ultimately similar conclusion – like a Möbius strip of bad plot. It’s almost impossible to dissect all the ways in which I’m annoyed with Heroes, so here’s a list of the top ten things that shouldn’t be happening but are…

10 – The re-ambiguation of HRG
9 – Matt & Mohinder: gay foster parents
8 – Scabby mirror-Nathan
7 – The immediate threat of losing Mama Petrelli
6 – The “Hero Virus”
5 – Sylar & Matt: still alive
4 – Bad British actors with worse Irish accents
3 – Explosion-induced amnesia
2 – Molly Walker
1 – Splitting up Hiro & Ando

In the interest of not dwelling on negativity, it should be mentioned that we’re witnessing a few stellar moves this season. Two storylines in particular have me wiping the drool off of my chin. Oddly enough, they focus on new people. The first is Monica (Dana Davis), Micah’s cousin who can absorb the skills she witnesses. Not only does her power open the door for some non-Ali Larter ass-kicking, her struggle for independence and redemption in post-Katrina New Orleans is the only compelling portrayal of it’s kind since so many started popping up on scripted dramas after 2005. Her charming sibling-like interaction with Micah is also welcome, as the writers tend to underuse him. As child actors go, he is the Gregory Peck to Molly’s Tara Reid.

The second glimmer of hope is most definitely the addition of Elle (Kristen Bell). Her first appearance last week may not have been the most inspired introduction, but my love for the actress means that even when the writing leans a little too heavily towards high-voltage Veronica Mars, I’ll still be captivated. I have faith that they’ll explore the snotty daddy’s girl side to her when she returns in a couple of weeks… and that she’ll fry more people with her electric lazer hands. My vote is for Matt, Molly and Sylar.