The American Idol machine isn’t necessarily evil. Regardless of the winners’ careers, Idol is still compelling TV six years in. And as I’ve said before, spin-off So You Think You Can Dance is the greatest competition show out there. I should have little reason to be skeptical about the producers’ latest offering, The Next Great American Band (FOX; 8PM)… but I totally am. Is it because of the painfully lame panel of judges? No. Is it because Fox dumped the show on Fridays? No. It’s because of promotional photos like the one above.
The majority of the bands we’ve seen in the commercials are ridiculous clichés or generic whiny-rock – I’d say they’re good for a laugh, but I’m pretty sure we’re expected to take a lot of them seriously. And seeing as how Goo Goo Dolls frontman John Rzeznik is apparently our barometer of taste, I can’t expect I’ll share the opinions of the judges (unless obligatory surly Brit keeps Rzeznik and Sheila E in check). If you’re into Daughtry, you’re in luck. American Band will likely give us a similarly douchey troop as a winner. It’s the last thing we need, but I can’t imagine getting anything else.
The Next Great American Band will probably have more than a few legitimately funny moments. God only knows how wonderfully awkward and horrible most of the auditions will be, but I can in no way endorse you watching it. Anything in direct competition with Friday Night Lights is the enemy… and the enemy must be stopped.
Editor’s note: Here endeth the week of hate. I promise to like things again starting Monday.